Q. I am a 64-year old retired dental hygienist who has a 42-year-old mentally ill daughter. She is bi-polar. I have sole responsibility for her. She was recently awarded disability benefits and Supplemental Security Income totaling $565 a month, $112 in food stamps, and Medicare paid by Texas Medicaid. Before she got these benefits, my savings decreased by many thousands. She is divorced and shares custody of her 11 and 14-year-old sons. Her Ex provides most of the financial support for the boys and has health insurance for them. I have to help with a few expenses for the boys when they are at her house.

To complicate matters, for the last eight years, my second husband has allowed none of our joint checking or savings to pay for any expenses for her or the boys. Her real father wants nothing to do with her and cut her out of his will.

I need more income and am thinking of annuitizing $34,000 in an IRA. It would provide over $200 a month for life with 15 years guaranteed to my daughter. Is this a wise decision?

My monthly income is $1,900 a month and my expenses are $2,500. My net worth is $150,000. If my husband doesn't change his current will, he is leaving me one-third of his house, $30,000 of life insurance, the car I am driving, and the furniture we have purchased. I have little debt other than my half of a timeshare obligation for $135 a month. What do you suggest?

---B.R., San Antonio, TX

  

A. You're in a tough and gritty situation--- but I bet you know that. Let's deal with the problem in two separate parts: what you can do for your daughter and the problems created by your husband.

I don't see a lifetime annuity with 15 years certain as a real solution. Your daughter will only be 57 in 15 years. A better alternative would be to help her through the cash purchase of a small house or condominium. While this kind of solution would be ludicrously expensive on the East or West coast, it is still possible to buy small apartments in much of the Southwest for less than $50,000. Another alternative would be to buy a used Park Model in an RV community.   Your daughter should not have direct ownership of the property. The reason for this is simple: you don't want your daughter to encumber or sell it. A purchase of this sort would not interfere with her SSI eligibility, would secure her shelter, and could last her lifetime.

Marriage vows, even when you say them the second (third, fourth, or fifth) time remain the same. The fundamental promise is to love and nurture "for better or worse, in sickness and in health." I don't recall any insurance-like language that excludes pre-existing conditions such as children. Your lifetime welfare should not be compromised by his desire to leave money to his children, just as his lifetime welfare should not be compromised by your desire to help your daughter.

I suggest a serious talk with your husband in which you establish the boundaries of caring and set well-defined limits on what you will do for your daughter. And what you will not do.   If those limits are set, perhaps your husbands' compassion can be awakened. If he cannot help with your daughter (and I can understand why he would be reluctant since it is a situation without limits), then he should take sole responsibility for the timeshare and its $135 monthly cost.

  

Q. Personal Fund has a mutual fund calculator that once was free.   The calculator would display the annual cost of the fund you entered and then offer you suggestions of funds with similar objectives that had lower cost.   Personal Fund has now started charging for the service.   I can't begrudge them for wanting to make money.   However are you aware of any other site that offers fund cost comparisons?

---J. S., Arlington, Texas

  

A. Not exactly. There is a mutual fund cost calculator on the SEC website.

Another site has a link to both the SEC site and a downloadable version of the same calculator.

You can find a number of specialized calculators for mutual funds.

There's also a good description of fund classes and their costs on the money.cnn.com site with a URL to Morningstars' calculator.

That said, I don't know of another website that makes the head-to-head comparisons of costs and side by side projections of what you might accumulate in each of two funds based on their fees and distribution history.

The good news is that when I visited the site and tested the calculator, it was still free.