Lana,
First, check the comment from "Worried in Texas" on finding that their non-listed REIT investment isn't very liquid. I put a very high value on liquidity and like to know that I can sell any investment, at any time with little or no complication. I also think you'd find that the commission cost of getting in to a non-listed real estate investment is much greater than the cost of buying a REIT as either a mutual fund or ETF. When you can buy shares in an ETF REIT for $8.95, non-listed REITs look pretty silly.
Before you go ahead with any investment, you and your husband need to become a bit more familiar with the limits of tax deferred investing. This year the employee contribution limit on 401(k) plans is $15,500. An additional $5,000 is allowed for those 50 and over. So the maximum contribution is $20,500 plus whatever your employer kicks in.
This amount can be contributed tax-deferred. This is nice since it will reduce your taxable income for the year. But it is NOT to be confused with tax-free. Basically, your income goes in untaxed and is allowed to grow tax-deferred until it is withdrawn. Every dollar you remove from the account is taxable as ordinary income.
You could invest in a Variable Universal Life policy but you would have to do it with after-tax dollars since it isn't part of your 401(k). Also, the growth of your assets in the plan will be slowed by (1) the typically high expenses of the funds offered inside the policy and (2) the cost of the life insurance.
The advantage of variable universal life policies that is frequently mentioned by life insurance sales agents is that you can take out your original premium payments tax-free (because you've already paid taxes on the money) and you can borrow out some of the accumulated growth without creating a "taxable event."
If this was a horse race, the 401(k) plan and the life policy would be neck and neck at this point if the only consideration was taxes. You'd pay taxes coming out of the 401(k) plan and you'd pay taxes going in to the life policy. The 401(k) plan would probably win, however, because it would have lower expenses.
More important, the 401(k) plan would also have less risk. The risk in variable life policies that sales agents tend to soft peddle (if not absolutely ignore) is that while you can borrow your accumulated value out tax-free, if the values inside your policy shink too much your policy can require a massive payment to keep it from collapsing. Were you to allow the policy to terminate because it has no further money in it, every dime that you had borrowed out--- all that accumulated earnings--- would instantly become taxable income.
Trust me, you don't want that to happen, particularly at some tender age, like 83.
My suggestion: stick with the 401(k) plan. Be glad you've got a high taxable income. Lots of people don't and they'd love to trade places with you.
Scott