The only way to avoid the penalty is by exercising the rule 72(t) option and taking a series of essentially equal payments. Unfortunately, this won't do much for you since you'll be paying interest on the shrinking loan for years.
The best course of action is to tough-it-out. That means not participating in a 401(k) plan, if necessary. It could also mean down-sizing your house to reduce debt. I think you should seriously consider this if you expect that your income reduction is likely to be permanent since $60,000 of income will work pretty hard to support the amount of mortgage (and related real estate taxes) that you've got.
Scott
